Tuesday, November 08, 2005
x 2:15 AM .

hello!ytd i went to the dentist for constation cos wanna put braces.den the dentist say i must extract 4 teeth.kaox..den after that he make mould.its for the shape of my teeth.when he put the mould for the bottom teeth its ok.den when wan to take out like all my teeth wanna cum out like tt.when put for the top teeth,its so terrible.as in like sumthing is going to stuck at my throat,so torturing.den when he wanna take out,he nid to use strength.i thought its stuck cannt cum out.so scary.i nid to take x-ray.after visiting the dentist,went to eat den went to buy formal shirt.cos for a volunteery work on sunday.after tt,went home.

today went to take x-ray den went to bring yuqi go class.den we go shop for pants for the volunteery work.den we went to a shop.their clothes is ok.den my sis ask my mum if this cloth is ok.den my mum say dun wan cos wear until so complicated.den i ask my mum abt a jeans mini skirt n a sleeveless shirt with sapgetti strip.den she say jeans mini skirt go other place buy cheaper.i was like wad the hell.can buy for my sis cannt buy for me.so bias.den aft tt i ask her abt the sleeveless shirt wif sapgetti strip.she say u will this type de meh.den she say i waste money buy cos i dun wear.den say i always wear my op shirt.den say my sapgetti buy liao nv wear.but actually nt i dun wan to wear.i wan to wear.but wear nt nice.cos i fat!!!!cos fat!!fat!fat!den wear nt nice.so i stick t-shirt.i really think tt sleeveless spagetti shirt is nice.but i think i dun hab the figure to wear.so might as well dun buy.save money!i dun hab any nice clothes.den in tt shop i saw a nice shirt n a skirt.i thought of asking my mum.den lata my sis cum see den she say she wan to ask my mum.i was haiz,ok lor.anyway she gt the figure sure wear nice de.i no figure beta nt.if nt make a shame out of myself.ppl always ask me y i dun wear tight fitting clothes.i always reply them cos i dun like sumthing sticking to my body.but tts nt the real reason.its i find tt i am fat!wear already nt nice.losing confident..nw i rather buy t-shirt n long sleeve shirt tt i will wear.those revealing clothes i dun wan liao.i losing confident in wearing them.i look terrible n ugly in them.when i wear revealing clothes.i look myself in the mirror.i ask myself,who is this fat ugly monster.iszit really me.after tt shop,we went to another shop.they sell alot of black revealing clothes.i think they r nice.but nt for me.fat ugly monster like me dun fit to wear.so i didnt see the clothes.i jus stand there n see earrings.den my sis say wanna buy earring.den my mum say dun buy there cos ex.my mum so freaking cheapstake!den she bring us to a shop selling 3 for $10 earrings.i dun like those type of earring tt is vintage n gt colour.cos they dun suit me.onli silver suit me.den i always wanted to buy a earring tt is a big circle n plain.den i ask my mum buy for me.she dun wan.she say nt nice.den well,i nv buy.den my sis ask me buy earring.dne i say i dun wan.den my mum bought all 3 earrings for my sis lor.anyway,my mum is freaking bias towards my sis n my mei mei.she doesn't bias to me.anyway,never mind.its ok.i save money and buy them myself.wadeva my sis n my mei mei she will buy.wad i wan i dun get it.if i wan i must save money buy myself.she n my sis always say i gt bad taste.den when we look at clothing she will say i choose those nt nice.but to me i think is nice cos i dun hab any nice clothing.i think i dun wanna buy chinese new year clothes liao.like my mum say my taste so bad.buy liao nv wear.anyway,fat ugly monster like me gt a few clothing enough le.my mum always say i gt so many clothing den onli wear those few.i already gt very little clothing.my sis gt more clothing than me.but all her clothing she onli wear 1-2 times.i think i jus nid 1 small cupboard.like this i can put all my clothing.my sis nid a very big cupboard.everytime,gt ppl hurt.no matter wad,in sch or at home i sure get hurt.ppl say me fat.ok,nvm.i admit i am fat.in sch my fwens say me fat.den gt 1 time 1 of my fwen say he look at my pimples bu sun yan can get rid of them.its nt i wan de.i also wish i dun hab.at home my sis,my mum,my father,my meimei n my jiu jiu say i fat.fat also nt i wan de.well,i noe i am fat n ugly.but no nid say this out.its so hurting.den when i go out,i see those girls thin thin den so pretty.i feel like a big fat ugly monster.well,never mind.i am use to it.everyone say this to me.i wan to slim down also.i also wan to b those thin thin type.but i cant.i try being on diet.i cant.aft awhile i start having gastric n i hab to eat.haiz~i dun ask much.i jus wan ppl to leave me alone n stop hurting me.

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